I shouldn’t be updating my blog now since my work really needs my attention but I can’t think straight now especially after the incident yesterday.
An innocent questions ( or maybe not) were asked yesterday to me by somebody.
Questions:
- Do you love being a wife?
- Do you love being a mother?
- Do you love your children?
I answered confidently YES to all questions coz I do. Then that somebody said ” then what are you doing here? You claim you love being a wife, a mother and your children, yet you are spending more time working than at home. Don’t you think you should be at home?”
I was too stunned to answer him back. It was at the tip of my mouth to say ” I am here coz I need the money to support my life and my children!” but I didn’t. As if he can read my mind, he said ” because of money? Well, let me tell you, money can’t buy everything especially the time you spend with your loves one and children. By the time you say you have enough money, I think I wanna spend my time with my love one , you are too late already. Your children has grown up and most probably prefer to be by themselves only..and your hubby? Well …” I stop him there. I do not want to hear anymore but that didn’t stop me from thinking until now.
Did I do the right thing? Am I suppose to quit my job and be a SAHM? What am I suppose to do?
I would love to have you at home dear but it’s all up to you. What makes you happy and right thing to do, I support you. I want to be at home too but at the moment just not able to.
u know what….to even try to answer the guy back is useless. or to bother yourself with his questions. unless, you feel that you arent feeling contented with what you are now.
but what do i know…i have no kids to even imagine the situation.
cheer up mamaJ! im sure you are one responsible and wonderful mother to your three kiddos as well as good wife to papaJ. and no one needs to question that.
There is no right answer. It’s all up to you, to be a stay-at-home-mom or to be a working mom.
JPPMOM, you above anyone else, will certainly know what is best for your child, not other parents, not bloggers, not colleagues, not psychologists.
Hi Jppmom, i agree with chegu carol’s comment. There are times we are extremely busy with work then this is where we tend to feel all sort of questions but it will only bother u much thinking more about it. Family will understand why we have to work, so when the right time comes this matter wont be a matter to u anymore.
Jpp mom..I don’t think we, the working moms are a bad wife or mother. And for sure, we love our kids 1000%, there is no doubt money can’t buy anything, but surely our money can buy our kids the milk, diapers, their toys..
Whats important is, you are content with your working mom status..don’t care lah what the guy said..he is not the one who is feeding ur kids..don’t let him make you doubt about yourself..
fella, am giving u an award
http://colynscorner.blogspot.com/2008/09/anies-cay-thank-you-so-much-im-gonna.html
MamaJ, there is no right and wrong answer for this and I think you don’t need to start questioning yourself on whether you’ve made the right decisions.
Let folks think what they want – it is you after all who knows the real reason why you need to work and you don’t need to explain that to anybody – let alone a stranger.
Of course, in the perfect world, having one parent with the kids all the time is ideal but realistically, money is necessary to live and truthfully, not everyone can be a SAHM without losing their mind :-p
After all, it’s the quality and not quantity of time spent with kids that makes a difference – so just continue to be the kind of mom that makes you and your family happy, regardless of what others say.
MamaJ, I dunno how to answer this, but I guess it all comes back to what you really feel like doing. What makes you happy. In reality, life these days are quite tough. Everything needs money! Having both parents working would definitely add more comfort to the family’s income. But being a SAHM is also great! You get to spend time with your kids, watch them grow, experiencing every important moments (like baby’s first step, baby’s first word).
That’s why.. I cannot say anything in this. It’s all up to you. Whichever one you choose, it’s always for the best, I’m sure.
Hmm… that somebody who asked you such questions that way sounds like looking for agents/customers such as Insurance, multi level marketing business, public mutual investments etc!
aiyo…where can say like that ah? no money the kids eat what oh?
@thehubby –
thehubby-I know dear..we both know why..no worries..I love u still
@chegu carol –
chegu carol-thanks there chegu
n yes, answering makes no different actually *sigh*
@Gallivanter –
Gallivanter-Agree wit u there Daniel, no right answer, but sometimes we can’t help wondering right?
@carolyn –
carolyn-U r right carol..wen d right time comes, all dis won’t matter anymore kan? thanks carol
@kaDusMama –
kaDusMama-yalorr..panas jg ati sekejap but wen i think back kan, he’s not d one yg kasi makan/minum/pakai my anak2 kan? Thanks kaDusMama, I feel great now
@carolyn –
<b?carolyn-bah, thank you..nanti sia pi collect kio..bila sinang lu
@Jewelle –
Jewelle- Hi Jewelle, appreciate you make time to drop a comment here. Yup, it is NOT easy to SAHM w/o losing your mind (I totally agree wit u). It is not easy work. Thanks for making me feel better.
@cindy –
cindy-awww cindy…u make me cry..I feel so touch..thanks a lot dear!
@Ryan mami –
Ryan mami-LOL! I guess u r right!
@chinnee –
chinnee-some people says without thinking but i guess he ( i mean d person who asked me this question) doesn’t think much about money :p
Hehe… I’ve met with such people before and this is their latest tactic to attract people to join them!
Oh ya, I’ve got an award for you! Do check it out at my blog ya
MamaJ like everyone said, there is no right or wrong answer here…what matter most is that you just do what you think is right for you and your family. There are reasons for everything that we do and am sure you have your reasons too… You have indeed been a wonderful and loving mom to your 3 lovely children no doubt about that and that guy have no rights to question you on that. And yes, if you can bring more comfort to ur family lifestyle why not right ;p