I’m glad I opened my email this morning and found these jokes in my Inbox, thanks to my sis Alice for forwarding it to me. I badly need some laugh at the moment as I feel so stress with everything :(

Happy reading!

Man Vs Woman
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning. It’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “so, you’re a man. That’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but we’re unhurt.” “This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”
Flattered, the man replies, “oh yes! I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!”
The woman continues, “and look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.” Then she hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, “aren’t you having any?”
The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police..” ;)
(moral of the story: women are clever. Don’t mess with them!) *evil grin*
Prospective Employer to Applicant: “So, why did you leave your previous job?”
Applicant: “The company relocated and they did not tell me where!” – hahaha maybe can use this excuse next time!

Hello! I’m here again. My mind is all muddled up. I just want to ask something. I know that you will be able to help me out. Is BIRDS FLU the past tense of BIRDS FLY? – LOL!

1st night, Grandma wore a see-thru dress, grandpa didn’t react…..
2nd night, Grandma wore t-back, grandpa still didn’t react….
3rd night, Grandma all naked, grandpa said “what is that you are wearing? it’s all crumpled!”
John: It’s my wife’s birthday.
Peter: What’s your gift to her?
John: I asked her what she wanted
Peter: What did she said?
John: Anything, as long as there is a DIAMOND
Peter: What did you gave her?
John: Playing cards!
(Luckily I’m not married to John, hahahahaha! if can’t afford real Diamond, home theater lighting Diamond shape also acceptable ;) sorry to those whose name John yea, no heart feeling!)