Boy, I’m down with all the above and not only me but my family too…first, my son Josh, then the twins (Preston & Presley) and my hubby who got it yesterday and now me..aduii sengsara men…I look left, right, up, down at home, everyone are either coughing or running nose…but most pity is my 3 months old twins…coughing and running nose…makes them sleepless at night (that mean me too ).

I hope my conditions will not getting worse because my hubby already *pengsan* … I can’t imagine both of us *pengsan*..who will look after the kids? Better not to think about it…scary men. This virus not only spreading at home but in the office too. Most of my colleague down with it too…hmm better ask for MC next week…I do not want my condition to get worse…must see doctor later and must try to make the herbs drink sasha shared yesterday.

Memory?yes I have a lot of memories….good and bad…but one thing that I don’t have is the memory of my mother who passed away when I was just a baby…yes, it’s been 30 years she left and how sad to say, I don’t have any memory of her. It hurts just to think about it and yes…as I was typing this, my eyes filled with tears….tears of sadness for not knowing my mother, for not having the memory with her…not a single one.

Each year this time around, I’ll be busy asking my sisters and brothers how does our mother look like?is she a loving and caring person?is she pretty? is she a good cook? is she a good mother? and on and on until my siblings will ask me to stop asking coz it hurts to talk about her, they say. Why it hurts?coz they have too many memories with her whereby I don’t have any. Should I be glad that I don’t have any?No…definitely the answer is no…but I can’t turn back the clock, she’s gone and been gone for long time already.

Am I ready to be a parent to my children? How ready am I?I still remember the day when I decided that I am ready to be a parent. I say to myself “I am ready to have a child.” and told my hubby that it is about time for us to have a child of our own. But now, having 3 children now and then this question keep pumping up in my head. “Am I really ready to be a parent?” and most of the time I do not know the answer and unsure.

Every time I lost patience with my son (which I regret deeply later especially if I spank him) , I always ask myself do other parent do that too?Am I really ready to be the parent for my child?When I answer yes to myself, then why does sometime I lost my patience with them? sometimes complaint (not all the time lah) I’m not free to go out with friends like I used to?Not free to do what I feel wanted to do sometimes? Besides that worrying when my children are sick, lack of sleep at night, parting almost half of salary every month…Still I can’t answer that and still blurr about it. But one thing I know for sure, I love my chidren very much. They are my top priority besides my hubby of course.

As I was spring cleaning my office desk this morning, I found my old pictures with my best friend during college time. LOL when I look at it. I remember clearly that day. We got nothing to do so guess what we did?We become model…posing with borrowed dress and high heels We posed and acted like we are really the model, OMG!!! but where are the others photos ah?can’t find them anywhere anymore…hmm maybe at home, will check that later.

Can you see how happy we are?Pretending we are really the real models(laugh). Don’t know if my friends still remember this occasion or not?But whatever it is, that day was one of the memorable day for us.

Thinking back our college days, I really enjoy it. So many friends and sooooo many incidents. Hmm how nice to be young, no worry about tomorrow. We did stupid things and when I looked back, those days are really fun. But I have no regret . Not about the past or the present. I’m happily married with 3 children, so does my friends, Ina Ley and Mummy Cay. They are both happily married to their sweetheart and having children on their own. How I miss our day out together.

Have any of you moms out there experience your shoes give up on you? I hope it won’t and will never happen to you coz it really embarrassing and frustrating.  It happened to me this morning, in the office (luckily) and not somewhere in the public.  My shoe’s rubber come off and whenever I walk it makes funny sound. 

I hardly notice it first but when my colleagues look at me with one kind of look, it makes me cautious.  Alamak, my shoe sound really funny lah…plak, plak, plak, plakkkkkkkk…..I run back to my office and take out my shoes to investigate what cause the funny sound.  No wonder, rubber gone don’t know where already. Sadly, I message my hubby (yahoo messenger) and pour out my sadness…Now, where am I going to get a temporarily shoes?

Hubby work this weekend…I’m all alone with the children…I really hate this situation but what to do…hubby’s work schedule like this. Do some cleaning and in the same time have to attend to my demanding twins..I have to rush here and there and it really worn me out. Luckily my son Josh who is now 3 years plus can entertain himself even though once a while he will call me for something. Oh yes, today my twins is three months old..will ask hubby to take their photo later…both twins grow healthily and more demanding.

But sad to say, this evening something bad happen to my twins, Preston. I was trying to put him to sleep when his swing (ayunan) broke. I was stunned for awhile..pick him up and check him all over his body especially his head…my other twins, Presley was crying as if he’s the one fall whereby Preston act as if it is nothing. He even give me his charming smile but that smile didn’t put me out of misery.  Call hubby and told him about the incident. (am crying that time…too panic and too worry). I just need someone to be with me that time to tell me that my baby is ok. Hubby says he can’t go out already as it is almost time for draw. Oh Lord, please bless my baby. I hope he’s fine. I pray like I never pray before. I will not forgive myself if anything happen to my baby.

Gosh…I’m so tired in and out. Just got back from my best friend’s son birthday party. I can’t imagine the situation if I bring along my twins. When we reached my friend’s place, my son Josh a bit shy but not long. The next thing, my friend’s house turn up side down because of them. Well, here some of the pictures we manage to take during the party.

Josh so excited that he keeps on pulling me to walk faster. He is so anxious to meet his koko Sean. All the way, he keeps on asking me ” Mummy, Koko Sean birthday? Mummy Koko Sean house? Mummy Koko Sean cake?” and on and on and on and on till I pengsan to answer him.

Josh giving his best smile with his new friends….birthday boy, Sean 3rd from left.

Here, Josh “merajuk” due to bicycle fight which we asked him to surrender the bike to his younger friend. Have to console him that it is okay not to play with the bike. headache man to pujuk him to surrender the bike.

Happy Deepavali for those who celebrating and especially to Ina Shirley and MumyCay. What a coincidence that today is my best friend’s son, Sean going to celebrate his 4 years birthday…can’t wait to see how our sons react when they meet each other later today.

We have been planning to meet them up but till todate, we unable to do so…Today is public holiday (but my hubby works) and I intend to write more but due to no one around to look after the kids (they are sleeping at the moment, except Josh, still watching his favourite channel – Disney) I have to cut short and hope I be able to share how the birthday party of Sean goes with some pics, I hope.

Till then, happy holiday and happy day..